Couples therapy in North London
Couples Therapy in Enfield
When the same argument keeps returning, closeness has become harder to reach, or something unresolved continues to sit between you, couples therapy can offer a place to pause and understand what is happening.
I’m Adam Lawrence-Rodriguez, a BACP-registered therapist with specialist psychodynamic couples training from Tavistock Relationships. I offer couples therapy in Enfield, North London and online.
When something between you has become difficult
Couples often contact me when they still care about one another but have become caught in ways of relating that neither person seems able to change. The same argument may keep returning, or warmth, trust and intimacy may have become harder to reach. At other times, a rupture or significant change has unsettled the relationship and left you unsure how to find your way back to one another.
You do not need to agree completely about what the problem is before beginning. Part of the work is understanding how each of you experiences the relationship, what each of you may be trying to communicate or protect, and what happens between you when you try to reach one another.
Repeated arguments
The same disagreements return, with both of you feeling misunderstood or unable to reach a resolution.
Distance and intimacy
You may feel more like housemates or co-parents, or find that affection, sex and emotional closeness have changed.
Trust and significant change
Infidelity, secrecy, bereavement, becoming parents or another major transition may have altered how secure the relationship feels.
Culture, family and difference
Race, culture, faith, class, gender, sexuality or family expectations may shape closeness and conflict in ways that are difficult to name.
How I work with couples
My role is to keep both of your experiences in view. I am not there to decide who is right, and I do not begin by treating either person as the problem. That does not mean pretending everything is equal or avoiding difficult questions. It means creating enough space for what each of you is experiencing to be heard and thought about.
In sessions, I pay attention not only to what you disagree about, but to what happens between you as you try to talk about it. I may slow a conversation down so each of you has a better chance of speaking and listening. I might return to something that seemed important, notice a pattern emerging between you, or help put words to an experience that became difficult to express.
This is not simply taking turns to report the week’s arguments. Over time, what once felt automatic can become something you both recognise, think about and respond to differently.
A psychodynamic and relational approach
My training is psychodynamic and relational. This means looking beyond the immediate disagreement to the patterns that have formed over time and the experiences that may sit underneath them. Earlier relationships, trauma, loss and other significant life events can shape what each of you expects, fears, reaches for or protects against in the present, sometimes without either of you being fully aware of it.
When a relationship feels stuck, trying harder to solve the same problem can sometimes deepen the frustration. Therapy offers a chance to pause, go beneath the surface and understand what is keeping the pattern rooted. This is not about blaming the past. It is about making its influence more visible, so you have more freedom in how you respond to one another now.
Further reflections: You can also visit the Reading Room, where I write about recurring patterns, intimacy, culture and difference in relationships.
About me and working with difference
Difference is part of every relationship, whether it is spoken about openly or not. My own mixed Black heritage and lived experience shape the care I bring to questions of race, culture, belonging and identity. Alongside my clinical work, I have also worked strategically on race equity, including as a Senior Race Equity Manager at Mind.
My background does not mean I will assume I already understand your experience. It means I am attentive to how race, culture, class, gender, sexuality, faith and other differences can shape closeness, power, misunderstanding and what feels safe to say. These differences may be central to the work, or simply one part of the wider relationship, but they do not need to be overlooked.
What to expect from couples therapy
Making the first contact
It begins with a short message, which either of you can send. You do not need to explain the whole story, and you do not need to agree completely about why you are coming. You only need to share a few words about what has brought you here. I read and reply to enquiries myself, usually within a day or two.
The first consultation
The first session is a meeting, not a commitment to ongoing work. You will not be expected to explain everything at once. The session gives each of you space to describe what has been happening, while I begin to understand what you may need from therapy.
I will also explain more about how I work, answer practical questions and think with you about whether ongoing couples therapy feels appropriate. Afterwards, you decide together whether you would like to continue.
Ongoing sessions
Ongoing couples therapy usually takes place weekly, at the same time each week. A regular appointment gives the work continuity and allows us to stay with patterns that may take time to understand. The length of therapy is agreed together and reviewed as the work develops.
Couples therapy in Enfield and online
I offer face-to-face couples therapy in North London, with rooms near Enfield Town, Enfield Chase and Winchmore Hill. These locations are accessible from surrounding areas including Palmers Green, Southgate, Cockfosters, Oakwood and other parts of Enfield.
Online couples therapy is also available for couples who live further away, travel frequently or find it easier to attend from home. We can think together about whether meeting online or in person would suit you best.
Thinking about beginning? You can request an initial consultation, and I will reply personally with my current availability.
Fees and practical information
- First consultation
- 50 minutes, £80
- Ongoing sessions
- 50 minutes, £120
- Frequency
- Usually weekly, at the same time each week
- Location
- Online, or in person near Enfield Town, Enfield Chase and Winchmore Hill
- Length of therapy
- Agreed together and reviewed as the work develops
- Reduced-fee spaces
- A small number may be available
I will let you know the regular times I have available, and we can see whether one fits alongside work and family life.
When couples therapy may not be the right place to begin
Many couples arrive feeling raw, guarded or unsure whether difficult conversations can be held without things escalating or shutting down. That can become part of what we think about together.
Where there is violence, coercive control, or either person is afraid for their safety, couples therapy may not be the safest place to begin. If that is the case, I would help you think about support that is more appropriate.
Frequently asked questions
Do you take sides in couples therapy?
My role is not to decide which of you is right. I try to keep both experiences in view while also remaining able to name difficult dynamics, imbalances or behaviour that needs careful attention.
Do we have to be married to attend?
No. I work with couples in different forms of committed relationship. Couples therapy, relationship counselling and marriage counselling are often used to describe similar kinds of support.
What if one of us is unsure about therapy?
It is common for partners to arrive with different levels of certainty. The first consultation gives both of you an opportunity to experience the process and decide whether continuing feels useful.
Can couples therapy help after infidelity or a loss of trust?
It can provide a place to understand the impact of what has happened, the meaning it carries for each of you and whether trust and connection can begin to be rebuilt.
Can we talk about sex and intimacy?
Yes. Changes in desire, sex, affection and emotional intimacy are common reasons couples seek therapy. These conversations can be approached carefully and without judgement.
How often do couples attend?
I usually work with couples weekly at a regular time. Consistency helps the therapy develop and gives us enough continuity to understand patterns rather than only responding to the latest difficulty.
Do you offer couples counselling near Enfield Town?
Yes. I offer in-person appointments near Enfield Town, Enfield Chase and Winchmore Hill, as well as online couples therapy.
When you feel ready
You do not need to have it all worked out, or to explain the whole story in a first message. If you think I might be able to help, I would be glad to hear from you.
Request an Appointment