Repeated arguments
The subject changes, but the same hurt, anger or silence returns and you both leave feeling misunderstood.
Couples therapy and relationship counselling in North London
Couples Therapy in Enfield
When you feel stuck and unsure what to do, you may be caught in the same arguments, living with distance or hurt, or wondering whether the relationship can change.
Request an Initial ConsultationIn person in Enfield · Online across the UK
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How can I help?
What may be happening between you
Couples often come feeling stuck in the same arguments, more distant than they used to be, or unsure whether the relationship can change. You do not need to agree about exactly what is wrong before beginning.
Distance and intimacy
You may feel more like housemates or co parents, or find that affection, sex and emotional closeness have changed.
Trust and significant change
Infidelity, secrecy, bereavement, becoming parents or another major transition may have altered how secure the relationship feels.
Culture, family and difference
Race, culture, faith, class, gender, sexuality, neurodiversity or family expectations may shape closeness and conflict in ways that are hard to name.
Not sure whether therapy can really change anything? Read my guide to whether couples therapy works and what it can and cannot do.
Meeting face to face
Couples therapy in Enfield
I work with couples from private rooms near Enfield Town, Enfield Chase and Winchmore Hill. The locations are also accessible from Palmers Green, Southgate, Cockfosters, Oakwood and other parts of Enfield.
For some couples, meeting away from home creates useful space around conversations that can feel difficult to have in everyday life. Online couples therapy is also available across the UK.
Marriage counselling in Enfield
When the marriage has become mostly about managing life
Marriage can gather a lot around it, including children, money, work, caring responsibilities, sex, family loyalties, cultural expectations and decisions about the future. Sometimes there is a clear rupture such as an affair. Sometimes there is no single event, only the sense that you have become good at running a life together and less able to reach each other.
Marriage counselling can offer a place to look at what has changed, what each of you has been carrying and what you want from the marriage now. You do not need to be considering separation to come.
How I work
How I work with couples
The aim is not to decide who is right. It is to understand what keeps happening between you and why the same difficult moments can become so hard to move beyond.
Specialist couples work
Both of you, and the relationship between you
Couples therapy is not simply two individual sessions at once. I listen carefully to each of you while also paying attention to what happens between you.
I may slow a conversation down, interrupt a familiar pattern, or help one of you say something that has become difficult to express. I also pay attention to who has room to speak and what happens when either of you feels blamed, ashamed or misunderstood.
Relational Resonance
When it becomes harder to feel in tune
I use Relational Resonance to describe the sense that you can feel and respond to one another. When that connection weakens, couples can start to miss each other even when both are trying.
In therapy, we notice where connection gets lost and what each of you may be feeling or protecting. The aim is to create more room to understand one another and respond differently.
Why understanding a pattern is not always enough
You can understand exactly what happens and still find yourselves back in the same place. Change often involves noticing the pattern as it is happening and having the chance to respond differently.
Why do we keep repeating what we already understand? →Difference is part of the relationship too
Race, culture, class, gender, sexuality, faith, neurodiversity and family expectations can shape how each of you experiences closeness, conflict and being understood.
My own identity and presence may also mean different things to each of you. I do not assume what those meanings are, but we can pay attention to them when they matter.
Explore particular relationship difficulties. Visit How I Work with Couples for pages on affairs, intimacy, parenthood, repeated arguments, emotional distance and uncertainty about staying together.
Fees and first steps
What to expect when you begin
You do not need to arrive with everything worked out. The first steps are deliberately simple.
Making first contact
Either of you can send a short message. You do not need to explain the whole story or agree completely about why you are coming. A few words about what has brought you here are enough.
Initial consultation
£80 50 minutes
The consultation gives both of you room to describe what has been happening and experience how I work. It also helps me consider whether regular couples therapy with me is an appropriate next step for what you are bringing. Ongoing work is not assumed.
Regular couples therapy
£120 50 minutes · weekly
If we decide to continue, we agree a regular weekly time. Consistency helps us stay with patterns that may take time to understand rather than only responding to the latest difficulty.
At a glance
- Frequency
- Usually weekly at the same time
- Location
- Online or in person in Enfield
- Length of therapy
- Agreed together and reviewed as the work develops
- Reduced fee spaces
- A small number may be available
I will let you know the regular times I have available and we can see whether one fits alongside work and family life.
When couples therapy may not be the right place to begin
Many couples arrive feeling raw, guarded or unsure whether difficult conversations can be held without things escalating or shutting down. That can become part of what we think about together.
Where there is violence, coercive control or either person is afraid for their safety, couples therapy may not be the safest place to begin. If that is the case, I would help you think about support that is more appropriate.
Frequently asked
Common questions about couples therapy
Some of the questions that can come up when you are deciding whether couples therapy or relationship counselling feels right.
Do you take sides in couples therapy?
My role is not to decide which of you is right. I keep both experiences in view while remaining able to name harmful behaviour, imbalances of power or something that needs careful attention. Holding both partners in mind is not the same as treating everything as equal.
Will my partner feel blamed?
I will not assume the person who made the enquiry is right or that the less certain partner is the problem. I want both of you to have room to speak, including about fears that therapy itself may become another place of criticism.
Will you challenge us?
I may interrupt a familiar pattern or draw attention to withdrawing, blaming or speaking over one another. I try to do this carefully without shaming either person.
Do we have to be married to attend?
No. I work with couples in different forms of committed relationship. Couples therapy, couples counselling, relationship counselling and marriage counselling are often used to describe similar kinds of support.
Can couples therapy help after infidelity or a loss of trust?
It can provide a place to understand the impact of what has happened, hold responsibility clearly and consider whether trust and connection can begin to be rebuilt.
Can we talk about sex and intimacy?
Yes. Changes in desire, sex, affection and emotional intimacy are common reasons couples seek therapy. These conversations can be approached carefully and without judgement.
How often do couples attend?
I usually work with couples weekly at a regular time. Consistency helps the therapy develop and gives us enough continuity to understand patterns rather than only responding to the latest difficulty.
Further reflections. You can also visit the Reading Room, where I write about ordinary moments through which distance, intimacy, race, gender and relationship patterns can be felt.
Ready to begin?
Request an initial consultation for couples therapy or relationship counselling in Enfield.
Request an Initial ConsultationHave a practical question?
If you want to ask about availability, location or how I work before booking, you are welcome to message me.
Ask on WhatsApp →07356 204020WhatsApp is best for practical questions rather than confidential or urgent support.