Individual therapy for depression and low mood
Depression and Low Mood Counselling in Enfield and Online
You may be getting through the day while privately feeling flat, distant or unlike yourself.
You open a message and leave it unanswered. Not because you do not care, but because even finding the right tone feels like more than you can manage. Later, the unanswered message becomes another thing to feel guilty about.
You go to work, take care of what needs doing and answer when somebody asks if you are okay. From the outside, life may look as though it is continuing. Inside, something feels heavier or further away.
You remember being more interested, more available or more able to imagine a future.
Therapy can offer a place where you do not have to perform being okay or explain why effort alone has not changed how you feel.
Depression can turn against the self
When you feel low, the mind can become harsh. Tiredness becomes laziness. Needing support feels like weakness. Finding something difficult becomes evidence that you are failing.
Even small mistakes can seem to confirm something larger about who you are. Praise may be difficult to take in, while criticism remains with you long after the moment has passed.
The low mood and the self-criticism can begin feeding one another. The less energy you have, the more you blame yourself for not doing enough. The more ashamed you feel, the harder it becomes to let somebody see what is happening.
You may not only feel low.
You may feel disappointed in yourself for being low.
When you begin to withdraw
You cancel because you do not have the energy to be present. At first, the quiet may feel like relief. Nobody needs an answer. You do not have to pretend to be interested or explain why you are not yourself.
Later, the distance from other people can make you feel even more alone. You may want somebody to notice while also hoping nobody asks too much.
A partner may ask what is wrong and hear “nothing.” You may not be trying to shut them out. You may be unable to find words that feel adequate, or frightened that speaking will make your need too visible.
In close relationships, withdrawal can be misunderstood as indifference, rejection or a lack of care. You may care deeply while finding it difficult to reach towards another person.
Low mood can make life smaller
Depression may gradually begin organising your days. You stop suggesting plans because it feels easier not to cancel. You put off decisions because every option seems exhausting. You remain in situations that make you unhappy because change requires energy you do not have.
The world can become narrower without a clear moment when it happened. Therapy can begin more quietly, by paying attention to what has been lost, what has become difficult to feel and what the low mood may be asking you to stop carrying alone.
Depression does not always feel like sadness
You may become irritable, impatient or unusually affected by small demands. A question, a noise or another person needing something can feel like an intrusion when there is almost no space left inside you.
Anger can be easier to feel than hurt. It may also carry something that has not previously felt safe to express, including resentment about how much you have had to manage or how little room there has been for your own needs.
This does not excuse harmful behaviour. It gives us a way to think about what the anger may be protecting and what it is trying to communicate before it takes over the room.
What may sit beneath low mood
You may have spent a long time adapting to what other people needed, keeping anger out of sight or continuing after a loss that there was little room to grieve.
At some point, the effort of carrying on can begin to show itself through exhaustion, numbness or hopelessness. Sometimes this follows a clear event. At other times, you may feel confused because nothing dramatic has happened.
We do not need to decide immediately what the low mood means. We can remain curious about when it began, what was happening around you and what feelings have been hardest to recognise.
When the body slows down
Depression is not only a way of thinking. Sleep may change. You might wake early, struggle to get out of bed or sleep for long periods without feeling restored.
Your body may feel heavy. Concentration becomes harder. Food, sex and physical closeness may feel different or less available.
These changes can create more self-criticism, particularly when you believe you should be able to overcome them through discipline. Therapy does not replace medical support where that is needed, but it can offer a place to think about the emotional life accompanying what your body is carrying.
How I work with depression and low mood
I work relationally and psychodynamically. This means paying attention to what is happening in your life now while also wondering how earlier relationships, losses and experiences may continue to shape how you feel about yourself.
I may notice how quickly you dismiss your pain, assume that I am disappointed or try to reassure me that things are not really that bad. These moments can tell us something about how difficult it has become to believe that another person could remain interested when you are not coping well.
Therapy is not about forcing optimism or finding a positive interpretation of everything. It is a place to make contact with what has become difficult to feel, think about or share.
As the experience becomes more understandable, it may begin to feel less fixed and less like the whole of who you are.
Beginning individual therapy
The first consultation is a meeting, not a commitment to ongoing therapy. It gives you space to say more about what has been happening, ask practical questions and experience how I work.
- First consultation
- 50 minutes, £50
- Ongoing sessions
- 50 minutes, £80
- Frequency
- Usually weekly, at the same time each week
- Location
- Online, Enfield Town, Enfield Chase or Winchmore Hill
- Length of therapy
- Agreed together and reviewed as the work develops
You do not need to wait until things become unbearable. You can begin with the sense that you have not felt like yourself for some time.
If you are worried about your immediate safety
Please tell me if you are having thoughts about dying, harming yourself or not wanting to be here. We would think carefully about your immediate safety and whether additional or urgent support is needed.
Weekly therapy may be one part of your support, but Relational Resonance is not an emergency or crisis service.
Frequently asked questions
Do I need a diagnosis of depression before beginning therapy?
No. You can come because you feel low, withdrawn, numb, hopeless or unlike yourself, with or without a formal diagnosis.
What if I am functioning normally at work?
Many people continue meeting responsibilities while privately struggling. Functioning does not mean that the emotional cost is small.
What if I do not have the energy to talk?
You do not have to arrive ready to speak continuously or explain everything clearly. Silence, tiredness and not knowing where to begin can all become part of the work.
Can depression affect relationships?
Yes. Low mood can change closeness, communication, desire and your ability to feel present with other people. It can also make it difficult to believe that others genuinely care.
What if I am having thoughts about not wanting to be here?
Please tell me if you are having thoughts about dying, harming yourself or not wanting to be here. We would think carefully about your immediate safety and whether additional or urgent support is needed. Weekly therapy may be one part of your support, but it is not an emergency service.
Do you offer online therapy for low mood?
Yes. I offer online individual therapy alongside in-person appointments in Enfield Town, Enfield Chase and Winchmore Hill.
You do not need to sound hopeful
A few words about how life has been feeling are enough to begin. I will reply personally with my current availability.
Request an Appointment