I pay attention to patterns
You may already know that you overthink, withdraw, become self critical or end up in familiar kinds of relationships. We can become curious about when those patterns appear and what they may be protecting.
Individual Therapy and Talking Therapy
How I work in individual therapy
For times when you feel stuck, anxious, low or caught in patterns you cannot quite shift.
Individual therapy gives you somewhere to slow things down, make sense of what has become difficult and understand some of the feelings, relationships and expectations that may still shape how you respond today.
What therapy with me is like
A thoughtful space that is not completely silent
I listen carefully and give things room, but I will not simply sit back while you do all the work. I may ask a question, return to something important or notice a pattern that keeps appearing.
You do not need to perform or arrive with the right words. We can begin with what you know and think about the rest together.
How I work
What keeps repeating can be worth understanding
We can pay attention to what is happening in your life now while also being curious about experiences and relationships that may still shape how you feel, protect yourself or expect other people to respond.
I am engaged, not completely silent
I give things room, but I may ask a question, return to something that seemed important or notice what becomes harder to say when a particular feeling appears.
Past and present can sit together
Earlier experiences may matter without every difficulty being reduced to the past. We can think about what is happening now and what older expectations or feelings may still be present within it.
Relational Resonance
How relationships can stay with us
Relationships leave an impression on us. The ways we have been seen, responded to, relied upon or disappointed can shape what we expect from other people and from ourselves.
In therapy, we can notice how those experiences may still be present in the way you relate, protect yourself or make sense of what is happening now. This is part of what I mean by Relational Resonance.
How can I help?
When your mind does not seem to let you rest
You may continue functioning outwardly while privately feeling tense, depleted, hopeless or never quite good enough.
When anxiety and overthinking are hard to switch off
Your mind may keep returning to what could go wrong, what you should have said or the feeling that you cannot fully rest.
When low mood leaves you feeling unlike yourself
You may still be getting through the day while privately feeling empty, withdrawn or unsure that anything will change.
When you never feel quite good enough
Even when things go well, your attention may move quickly to what you missed, disappointed or should have done better.
When work takes more than you can keep giving
You may appear capable and reliable while carrying exhaustion, pressure or the sense that you can never safely slow down.
Relationships, loss and old patterns
When the same feelings keep returning with other people
Closeness, separation, guilt and responsibility may take familiar forms even when you are determined for things to be different.
When a relationship ends but the feelings do not
A breakup, separation or divorce may leave you grieving the relationship, questioning yourself or unsure how to begin again.
Why do I keep ending up in the same relationship?
You may keep finding yourself pursuing, withdrawing, mistrusting or choosing relationships that leave you feeling unseen.
You say yes before checking what you want
You may feel responsible for other people, struggle to set boundaries or feel guilty when you try to say no.
When life continues but someone is missing
Grief can alter your sense of time, identity and connection, even when people around you expect life to have moved on.
Identity, masculinity and belonging
When parts of you have been difficult to hold together
Race, culture, gender, masculinity, family expectations and belonging can shape what feels safe to express and where you feel able to be fully yourself.
Counselling for men who find it hard to open up
A one to one space for men who carry pressure quietly, withdraw when things become intense or struggle to show vulnerability and need.
Race, identity and where you feel you belong
You may be thinking about where you fit, what others expect of you or the emotional cost of moving between different worlds.
Individual therapy with relationships in mind
Training centred on relationships
My training at Tavistock Relationships has centred on the way people are shaped by relationships. In individual therapy, I pay attention to what is happening now, what may keep repeating and what becomes easier or harder to say as we work together.
Partners, parents, family, culture, race, masculinity, gender, sexuality, faith, class and neurodiversity can all shape how you experience yourself and other people. I do not assume what those experiences mean for you.
Training
Tavistock Relationships
Registration
BACP registered member (MBACP)
How I work
Understanding patterns and relationships
Professional network
BAATN member
How change happens
Why understanding yourself is not always enough
You may already recognise that you overthink, withdraw, become self critical or repeat the same relationship pattern, yet still find yourself responding in the familiar way when something feels difficult. Change can involve noticing the pattern as it happens and having more room to respond differently, not only understanding it afterwards.
Ready to begin?
Request an initial consultation for individual therapy in Enfield, North London or online across the UK.
Request an Initial ConsultationHave a practical question?
If you want to ask about availability, location or how I work before booking, you are welcome to message me.
Ask on WhatsApp → 07356 204020WhatsApp is best for practical questions rather than confidential or urgent support.
bacp
BACP registered member (MBACP)
Professional registration
BAATN
BAATN member
Black, African and Asian Therapy Network
ico.
ICO registered
Data protection registration